Being a person is difficult, and being in a relationship is also difficult. Many people benefit from help understanding their place in the world, the reasons for their repetitive problematic interactions and frustrations or fears. We all idealize relationships when we enter them, and there is a natural process of recognizing nothing is ideal. Often times people take that to mean the relationship has run its course. Instead, there are very easy ways to improve the relationship – through reflection, growth and mutual understanding. Contrary to the fear, therapy not only does not mean the end of the relationship – it can actually improve a relationship to a level of contentment, connectedness and satisfaction well beyond the previous best times.
OK, there is some truth to that. However, going out to dinner or other distractions are expensive as well. Therapy is an investment, and quite honestly, can be the best investment one can make in their relationship.
That might be true, sometimes it is just a little problem. However, if the problem continues to cause irritations, arguments (or not talking at all), and it has not passed it is worth considering seeking help. Another sign is a problem which repeats. We all repeat thoughts and patterns and often we cannot change these repetitive patterns without outside help. A little problem that repeats, grows and causes increasing levels of unhappiness very likely is a real sign that help is needed.
OK, this is a mixed topic. Sometimes a friend CAN be helpful. However, despite their best intentions, friends can also cause more problems. Here’s why: we are generally taught that being a good friend means ‘taking someone’s side.’ So, going to your friend and complaining about your partner often results in your friend ‘taking your side.’ That might feel good in the moment, but you may not be considering ways in which you both contribute to the situation. A skilled therapist can help you both see the bigger picture, ways in which early modeling and current life are impacting your relationship – and more importantly – ways to get out of that rut!
Again, that might be there case. If so, great! That’s easy to work with! If it is more, it really does take a skilled, insightful therapist to help sort out the problems and help find new ways of relating to each other.
Yes! Most people coming in to therapy the first time are really nervous. However, once the work has actually begun very often couples will find that the process of therapy is enormously rewarding. Growing as a couple, and as an individual in the presence of your partner are both products of being in therapy together. The emotional depth that can be reached, and the acceptance for self and other can lead to a new stability in the couple and a much greater level of emotional intimacy – more than ever imagined.
If you have any thought of going to therapy, you should listen to your intuition. It could be a really important decision and it could vastly improve your relationship and your life.